Thursday, July 28, 2016
I have that one dream that I really want to make it happen..because I love doing it so much eventhough it is tiring..but my parents and my brother doesn't really approve that..
For so many times, my parents had always always told me the same thing and I realize things that they said are the one they hope from me.
They want me to make it happen. Not because of them but for my own benefit. Often they finished their words with, "This is all for your own benefit..stand on your own. Don't hope from others.."
Baru sedar parents hopes on myself is high. Really high. Jadi tak salah kalau capai and buat apa yang mereka nak sebab after all ianya untuk kebaikan diri sendiri. Lagi bagus kalau boleh bind sekali dengan impian sendiri hehe.. Tu yang what I'm trying to prove to them currently sebelum memasuki ke alam yang lain in future. Mcm juggling between two works :)
Jarang sekali I sit and talked with my youngest brother. Rasanya dah lama tak lepak and berborak about life and future planning. Last time lepak2 was maybe 5 years ago where my older brother was there too..Time constraint.
We're too busy for this life..so the other day I followed him to the dentist. He took his MC on that day. Arriving home, I choose to sat down.
This is where those little talks went in. It was inspiring. It is. Seriously it is. I have never thought that my youngest brother ni would be so motivated in planning his future..more than me. I even felt motivated and wanna be like him as I heard all of his plans.. He wants to do this and this.. Bersyukur je we had that small talks sebab it really change the way I think.
Dulu ingat adik taknak sambung sebab he's like more into working..getting his diploma done in this year he said he wants to pursue his studies lagi.. Itu dah cukup buat kakak dia ni terkejut hehe. Lagi terkejut bila dengar his plannings in future.. Bila masa tah dia terfikir benda2 camni..
I used to think that in this life, you have to get a degree. At least. And then you work, get married, having kids and then workkkk till I dont know when. Mmg itu normal flow kan..typical.
But after reading such inspiring stories on facebook of how fresh graduates seeking for a job and the way they start on not choosing job after their convos are just amazing..they worked hard from below and then as time passed they finally got their dream job even benda tu amik masa lama.
It's okay for them because they have the experience before reaching such level..and in this matter, satisfaction are the key :)
Bayangkan bekerja bukan dalam bidang study dulu, kemudian after konvo decide untuk kerja and taknak menganggur kemudian bekerja pulak bukan dalam bidang dipelajari kemudian in future finally dapat dream job tu or dapat kerja yang gaji selesa, how to not feel satisfy :)
This change my perceptions because...there were some things happened which making me to feel motivated about ilmu ni.
Masa hari raya haritu, my relatives were asking me about ubat2..tokki tak sihat so they asked me indications, masa makan, boleh patah dua ke tak etc. Words like "lisa tau, sbb dia belajar dulu.. Lisa la bagi ubat tu.." are seriously comforting :')
Ubat2 yg ditanya tu are the simple ones..I admit I forgot some of them that I had to search about them soon after that. Not for them but for me. It's like I did that because I want to know what is it..sort of like tak puas hati dgn diri sendiri sebab tak tahu ubat tu untuk apa.
Then I came to realize ilmu masa belajar dulu tu tak sepatutnya dilupakan begitu sahaja. And disebabkan dulu selalu down sebab tak dapat sambung for this course, I have a better way of telling myself in accepting it :)
Ini semua hikmah daripada rasa tak puas hati mencari nama ubat tu.
I told myself,
"Just because I don't study pharmacy anymore, doesn't mean that I cannot study about it on my own self. The notes are there..tinggal nak bukak, baca balik and taknak je. Jangan merajuk dgn diri sendiri. Jangan marah dgn diri sendiri. Allah choose you to be in this way. Just because I don't pursue my pharmacy course, doesn't mean that I should just leave the ilmu, throw all notes, and forget all knowledge I got from my diploma. I can always learn everything back for my own sake..for my own knowledge. In turns, maybe I can share everything I know to the people around me too. In turns, maybe I can get a job as pharmacy assistant or working in this course ke in future." :)
Im just this weird. It took me a long time to heal from this.. The process..are..just..hard.. Lagi2 bila jumpa student yang sambung kos ni dekat u sana. I don't show my emotions. I keep it to myself, blaming myself and merajuk pastu marah sorang2.
I even became like this to him like I've never told him I am angry ke merajuk ke terasa ke I just snapped and then silent. But he always knew the reason before I told him..:D
I really think ilmu tu tak terbatas di waktu student life sahaja. Not only in university life but in THIS LIFE. Ilmu Allah tu luas.
Carilah sebanyak mana ilmu.. Ilmu menjahit ke ilmu bisnes ke ilmu menyelam ke ilmu memasak ke or anything selagi benda tu tak bercanggah dengan Islam.
Cari dan study dan amalkan ilmu yg boleh improve diri sendiri menjadi hamba Allah yang lebih baik dan ilmu yang memberi manfaat utk semua orang..
Bind it with experience. Do any kind of jobs.seek experience. Biar penat tapi penat yang berpengalaman yg terbaik untuk diri sendiri. Move. Move out of your comfort zone.
You can only plan what to do in your life, but Allah also has a better plans for you :)
Friday, July 8, 2016
Thursday, July 7, 2016
It makes me happy when people ask me how to take this ubat.. How to apply.. On what time.. Apa kegunaan dia.. I love explaining to them :)
Eventhough tak amik farmasi dah, Alhamdulillah masih dapat merasa share ilmu pasal ubat dengan orang sekeliling. I feel appreciated kejap haha. Betul la bila orang kata ilmu tu tak terbatas masa kita belajar tu je, kalau guna betul2 lepas habis belajar still boleh guna and share dengan orang.
I used to feel down sebab tak dapat sambung. Lagi2 course yang ni amik masa 4 tahun but I can see the hikmah behind all these. Even orang kata lama lagi sebab habis degree pun umur nanti dah pertengahan 20-an insyaAllah, tapi selalu mintak hati ni kuat bila orang kata camtu. Anggap je dorang ni tak sabar nak tengok kita gembira naik pelamin tu hehe :)
My prinsip is, kalau kita nak gembira kita kena fikir baik2 and ada sikap yang baik. InsyaAllah nanti orang2 sekeliling kita pun datang and cakap yang baik2 je dengan kita.
How was your raya so far? :) Mine was so-so.. Atuk got admitted on malam raya because he's not feeling well so everyone here wasn't really that excited to celebrate the raya.. It was 12.30 pm and we were all justtttt about to sleep.
Just as I turned the lights off, my aunt got a call from my uncle who look after my grandfather about his condition. My uncle said my grandfather wasn't responding when he talked to him. His pressure risen up and he barely moved.
Us, at my aunt's quickly wore tudung and chaos happened jugak for few minutes. Serius kelam kabut sikit haha and we were asking each other sape nak jaga rumah sape nak jaga budak2 kecik yg tidur tu. Then, we rushed ourselves to uncle's to see atuk.
It was 12.45 pm and my uncle's family were there besides atuk. They gave him panadol. Tapi badan atuk tetap panas. There were small wet towel on his forehead.
Everyone was there. Pastu, sepupu dgn pakcik rushed pergi hospital panggil ambulans. 20 minutes camtu, dua org MA sampai.
They checked him and said kena bawak pergi hospital.. Short story short, atuk kena warded for a day.. Semua org risau and yes we are happy bila atuk keluar dari wad sebab senang nak jaga bila kat rumah compare kat hospital. He's getting better no Alhamdulillah :)
My raya was.. Ok... Alhamdulillah :) sebabnya I don't expect much on this raya. Actually setiap raya pun tak berharap nk best2 mcm time kecik2 dulu haha. Bila dah makin besar, memang rasa beraya tu kurang dah. Another thing is, soalan2 cepumas tu yg selalu ditanya.. I like to just smile and cakap lama lagi padahal dalam hati nak je di usia2 ku yg masih dalam kategori muda ni :p
Raya kalini lagi suka duduk rumah tengok tv berebut remote tv dgn bebudak kecik cinonet2 tu pastu buat air bila kengkawan sepupu datang.. :D
Selamat Hari Raya semua orang! Assalamualaikum :)