Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A good lesson(s)

Kadang-kadang dalam hidup kau akan jumpa dengan orang yang buat kau hanyalah suatu pilihan. Right at the moment sebenarnya kau boleh rasa tapi still, kau nak nafikan.
Trust me, do trust your heart.
Kau tak layak untuk dijadikan pilihan.
Tiada siapa yang layak untuk dijadikan pilihan.
Kerana sepatutnya kau dihargai.

Baik lelaki mahupun perempuan, tinggalkan benda yang kau rasa dari awal memang tak betul. Kau layak untuk dijadikan pilihan oleh seseorang yang menghargai.

Bila kau usaha sampai kau sendiri mati akal nak usaha macam mana lagi, trust me bila aku kata kau dah habis usaha.
Kalau orang hargai, kau tak perlu pun nak usaha sampai kau sendiri perlu tanya nak usaha apa lagi.

Maaf, aku bukan sempurna. Salah silap aku juga pernah buat dulu.
Tapi, cukuplah setakat dulu.
Aku dah mula buka mata siapa yang ada waktu aku susah.
Siapa yang terima aku dikala aku menjadi, aku.
Siapa yang selalu beri nasihat, despite all irrelevant words that they said towards that particular person.
Aku tak mahu orang baru, kawan baru.
Cukuplah setakat yang ada.
Kawan baik, kawan, dan semua yang ada.
Sebab satu benda yang aku perasan bila aku jumpa dengan kawan baru,

Dia tak terima kita macam mana kawan-kawan lama terima.
Friends for benefit,
Lah katakan,


Sunday, March 8, 2015

Between pharmacy and degree(#inothercourse)


It has been a great day today since I already finished with MUET. I no longer have to revise or worry about the exams. Of course the result will be another thing that I need to think but let's just put that aside first. There's a lot of things that I need to settle down within this month and I can say that March is an intriguing month for me. The assignments, upcoming final exams, and the application for the degree is really making me quite miserable lately. I don't know where to start, what to do eventhough I already list all these things. Sometimes I feel like I just want to stop from doing all this. I don't know what choices I have in future or whether the course that Im gonna take meet my passion. I'm not even sure whether I can stand all the busy life of becoming a student, - again after 3 years with books which actually you know, others are currently battling with their degree.

Im not regretting the fact that I spent 3 years for this course because this is my passion, I love learning this, I love doing this, I love everything about the subjects together with the practical year and new life that I already encountered, and so I couldn't care less what others have to say eventhough some people said it seems like Im wasting my time on this. But what makes me hesitated is, the course that Im gonna take for another 3 or 4 years. I don't know whether I can survive taking another course which I myself don't even know about my choice/my current passion either. Complicated much? Kan. Oh let's just put that aside first. It will be okay eventually... (I hope)

I always heard about this one problem that I usually knew from my friends and I tend to feel sorry for them as I don't know in what way I can do to help. But currently, I was having quite a hard time in trusting and getting the fact that, - yes you are in this condition right now and best of luck. - It's like everything came directly at the same time and literally I lost balance in juggling everything.

The last thing that I wish to have is just at least people would understand and respect my decision together with the choices I made. Eventhough it seems impossible for now, but I hope things will get easier. One thing for sure, no one likes to be force and having to choose between two major things are irrelevant. Freedom is for everyone and I strongly hold onto, people can only give their opinion but the one who makes the decision is yourself, the one who wants to be happy is yourself, the one who knows more about that particular option is yourself, the one that know why you choose and all the reasons is still, yourself. I wish I have the courage to say this but sometimes keeping your mouth shut is better. I need at least, the courage to face this and let it away as time flies. Well sometimes I do hope time flies as I want to meet the future really quick. I do believe that in every hardship, there is ease and yes, there is ease. To have someone who assure that you're not alone in facing this is quite comforting, and to realize the fact that one particular person is making his effort to make this problem better had just give me strength to deal with this test in a more calming way.

Please, I want to meet future so badly.